Sam the Girl
by Archilochus
Summary: Carly is fixing Sam up so she can impress the new foreign exchange student she's fallen in love with. Unbeknownst to Carly, all is not as it seems.


"I can't believe this Sam. You haven't worn a dress since that time in the fourth grade when we sang in the choir for _Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat_." Carly and Sam were in the girl's locker room, sitting on the bench in front of Sam's locker. Carly was smoothing out the curls in Sam's hair so that she could look extra special for Roger, the British exchange student she had fallen madly in love with.

"Yeah, and that was just because Ms. Briggs caught me wearing Gibby's suit!" The brush froze in Carly's hand.

"That's why Gibby never showed. I thought it was because he got a bloody nose and had to be taken home."

"I…did that too." Carly 'tsked' Sam reproachfully.

"Well, at least today you'll finally get a chance to show everyone your feminine side."

"You know, I'm kinda looking forward to it," Sam admitted. "I mean, I am who I am and I like who I am, but sometimes a girl's gotta be a girl!" Carly nodded in agreement.

"Well put." Carly bounced Sam's hair a few times before grinning in satisfaction. "Are you ready for your close-up Ms. Puckett?" Carly asked in her best faux British accent.

"Let's see how ya did Carls," Sam said, lumbering off the bench.

"Wait, do you have any ribbon in your locker? I think it might help." Carly went to open Sam's locker but the blonde grabbed her hand and led her away.

"No dice Carls. Now come on, I'm sick of waiting."

"Okay, okay."

Sam and Carly walked over towards the sinks, where Sam could examine herself in several large mirrors. Carly nearly giggled, she was so excited. She couldn't wait to see Sam's reaction. Finally, Sam was interested in what seemed to be a decent guy, and she was willing to go through all of this just to impress him.

Sam stopped as soon as she caught first sight of herself. Carly looked at Sam in the mirror, slightly confused by her friend's behavior. Carly couldn't believe it, but actual tears had formed in Sam's eyes.

"Oh wow," Sam gasped. She fought to keep it together. "Carly it's amazing, I-I don't even recognize myself." Carly reached over and squeezed her best friend tightly.

"Oh Sam, you're so pretty and you don't even know it," Carly said softly. After rocking in one other's embrace for a bit, they broke apart, both girls beaming.

"Now let's go make a British boy fall in love with you!" Carly cheered.

"Right behind ya," Sam said, heading back to her previous spot on the bench. Carly frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I just gotta adjust these nylons, there's a lot of loose material wedged at the soles of my feet."

"I can wait," Carly said earnestly.

"No way José, Carlay Shay." Carly giggled.

"Rhymes," she muttered under her breath. They made her laugh. Sam smiled back at her friend, and added:

"I don't wanna make you late for class, okay?" Carly shook her head good-naturedly.

"Really Sam, it's no-"

"Just get outta here will ya, I gotta _pee_!" Carly was silent for a few seconds, stunned. Suddenly, her feelings of girlhood-bonding and best friendship dissolved into irritation.

"Well then," she sniffed. After all the help she gave Sam, Sam could have at least thanked her. Carly jutted her lower lip moodily as she exited the girls' locker room. "Enjoy your pee!" she sniped before finally leaving. Sam watched the exit for several seconds, making sure that Carly had left for good.

"Alright, you can come out Freddie!" Sam's locker swung open and out tumbled Freddie Benson, hair matted and skin grooved where the locker frame had pressed into him. He didn't care though. He had been waiting all day to see how Sam would look. And he wasn't disappointed.

"You look amazing!" Freddie exclaimed as he scrambled to his feet. Sam grabbed Freddie and dipped him like a passionate dancer.

"That's right baybeh." Freddie lifted his eyebrows and the pair exchanged a brief kiss.

"So, Carly still thinks you like that Roger guy?" Sam waved her hand dismissively.

"The girl is positively confused," she said in a London accent. Sam and Freddie interlocked fingers and grinned intensely at one another. Breaking free one of her hands, Sam reached inside her locker and withdrew what was quickly becoming her favorite snack.

"Meatball?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. Freddie returned the gesture.

"Up high." Sam tossed the meatball up in the air and Freddie skillfully caught it in his mouth. He eagerly gobbled up the morsel and returned his attention to Sam. He didn't know what exactly was going on, how he and Sam changed from worst enemies, to sharing a first kiss, to having long conversations into the early hours of the morning, to sneaking off with one another, to turning into best friends. All of it happened very fast, and didn't make a whole lot of sense. But if anything, as Freddie squeezed Sam's hand and stared into her eyes, he knew one thing.

Sam couldn't make meatballs to save her life.

"Dude, what's wrong with your face?"

"I think I'm gonna be sick!"

***

Sam ended up _not_ wearing her new dress during school that day.

**Disclaimer - I do not own iCarly, it characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.**


End file.
